Effective Communication

Tone is so very important.
On a message board I was reading one day, one poster complained at a totally receptive response that another poster wrote in reply to a particular comment.
“I’ve been saying that all along! Straightforward, with none of the fluff!
It seems like to get a point across anywhere around here you have to go and give the ego a good stroke first, otherwise nobody wants to hear it! No ego payoff means no interest!”.

Curiously, the message that he’d been trying to convey all this time was a message of unconditional acceptance of what is.

In observing this whole transaction, it would appear as though tone is like an adverb that gets tacked on to whatever message is being sent.
In the case in question, it would appear that people weren’t recieving the message clearly because the message was being modified by the tonal adverb.
They weren’t hearing the message “unconditionally accept All!”
They were hearing “Harshly accept All unconditionally!”

Harsh, aggressive and demanding approaches to communication tend to provoke the ego…and subsequently, those emotions/attitudes reside in the ego too.
The confusion that the ego had to be stroked in order that a person be receptive to the message was that the tone of the message was actually what was provoking the ego into involvement in the first place!
It’s hard for people to recieve your message while you’re stepping on their toes!
So basically, it’s not really necessary to stroke the ego at all if you don’t go getting it all riled up in the first place…
The tone should reflect the content of the message.
Peace ought to be expressed peacefully.
Love ought to be expressed lovingly.
Acceptance ought to be expressed acceptingly.
It’s a simple concept…but so often it gets completely overlooked.

For example, we might take a look at anti-war protests.
Anti-War is not the same thing as Pro-Peace.
While the anti-war folks might be trying to promote peace and love, they defeat the cause with the aggressive, harsh, demanding attitudes….the precise attitudes that propagate the condition that they’re protesting against!
It’s been said that “there’s no way to peace, peace is the way.”

One of my favourite quotes, by David R. Hawkins goes “Truth can only be validated by identity with it, not by knowing about it.”
For this reason, doubt, skepticism, non-receptiveness and opposition are generally the response when the tone doesn’t match the content of the message. If the tone doesn’t identify with the content of the message, then how can the messenger be trusted?

Jesus taught “They will know you by your love.”
To communicate with love and peace and patience immediately opens up the audience to be receptive.

Words just convey what’s being said. Tone conveys what’s being meant.

-Rob

Addendum:
Special consideration for the audience is generally important to good communication too. At certain stages in consciousness, awareness just isn’t expansive enough to really comprehend certain messages at all.
I used to teach art classes to 4 homeschooled kids between 6 and 12 years old, and I was reminded on a regular basis that you can’t talk thermodynamics to kindergarteners.
Without an understanding of addition and subtraction, they just aren’t going to grasp it!

So realize that much of the point in communication is that it’s an act of service…so cater it to best serve your audience!